Sometimes, I get the feeling that Ryan is just an accident waiting to happen. The boy does things that he just shouldn’t. He is impatient and thinks he can do anything himself. He gets hurt. It’s like it’s wired into his DNA.
Remember when he painted upstairs, over a flight of stairs? No? Here’s the post to prove it. This is the kind of stuff he pulls all the time. And there is more. But, Ryan doesn’t allow me to share most of it on the blog because our mothers read it and they would worry.
Well, the boy has done it again. I came home today to find that he had broken three fingers at work today.
One or two fingers wouldn’t have cut it. He had to fracture three fingers on his right hand. In case you need to catch up on the math – that means that he lost 30% of his fingers…It happened early this morning – but, he didn’t call to let me know that it happened. Of course not – “It is something that is better to talk about in person. I didn’t wanna worry you.”
(Do you wanna hear the most annoying (and simultaneously funniest) part of the story? (I know you do.) When he went to get an x-ray, the receptionist gave him a clipboard of papers to fill out even though his work gave him paperwork with all of his information. WTH! He writes with his right hand – which had three fingers broken. When he explained this to her, she told him to “do your best and use your left hand.” If his wife would have been there, that woman would have gotten an earful. That is ridiculous!)
Anyhoo, after scowling at him for keeping this from me all day and making him pinky swear (because that was pretty much the only finger left) to call me when this happens next time (because I’m sure something like this will happen again), I did what any good wife would do:
1. I made him take a photo so I could blog it. He looked goofy – it was blog-worthy.
(Doesn’t he look thrilled?)
2. I made sure that he could still unload the dishwasher with 7 fingers (he can).
3. After finding out that he hadn’t taken the pain-killers the nurses gave him, I called his mother. I knew she would agree that he should take them (and she did). Plus, I needed to make sure she was aware that he was down three fingers before I blogged it.
4. He still didn’t take the pain killers, so I called my mother. I knew she would agree that he should take them (and she did).
Are you wondering why the boy won’t take the pain killers? Even when the fingers hurt like the dickens?
“I need to save them for if something really bad happens.”
(Really? Because three fingers isn’t the threshold for you? And, when something really bad happens, why would the doctor not give you any more pain killers?)
At some point, he will have to take the pain killers. The pain of three persuasive women nagging him will get to him. I’m sure of it.
But, all-in-all, he decided that breaking three fingers wasn’t all bad.
“I did get free tetanus and whooping cough shots today,” he told me with a smile. “And, I figure that having a tetanus shot is probably good for me since I’m always getting hurt.”
The boy is thrifty and practical – I’ll give him that.
(PS – In case you are appalled at my apathy, I want to put it on the record that I do care about my husband and have been taking care of him. I’ve been helping him do things that he cannot do because of his loss of finger-function. He’s well taken care of. However – we both find amusement in the situation so I can make fun of it. Plus, we all know I’m not in the running for the wife of the year award. So, don’t you go calling the domestic abuse hotline.)
Did you like this post?
We'd love to send you more inspiration and encouragement for your home. When you sign up below, we'll send you our free guide to save thousands on your next home project. Because your home shouldn't own you.
Heather says
I’m sorry that he is 3 fingers down but I did have to laugh. Why do boys think they can do everything themselves. My DH would be the same though.
shalay says
OMG! I’m sorry, but that is completely hilarious. Saving the painkillers in case something worse happens? Too funny. I take painkillers if I get a twinge in my neck. They’re good stuff!
Freckles Chick says
LMAO @ “I made sure that he could still unload the dishwasher “. A woman’ got to have her priorities!
Poor guy. The whole saving the painkillers for later thing sounds totally like something Mr. FC would do, too. You know I would be popping them like crazy. Probably w/ some wine.
Kraesc says
You are hilarious! I love that you called both mom’s to verify that he should indeed take the pain killers! His response made me laugh out loud. So funny. I hope that his fingers heal quickly!
longbrakeliving says
Oh this is too funny! ANd I thought my Hubby was bad — he’s always cutting himself and he doesn’t know how he got the gapping wound! I mean, I get a splinter and I can’t handle it. Boys are so strange! (PS – Ryan has super long fingers!)
Lindsey says
You crack me up!! And Ryan sounds just like my husband! That is something he would sooo say!
Amber says
I think it’s funny that you’re writing about Ryan breaking his fingers and I’m laughing through the whole post because you are so funny. Hope he feels better…or takes his pain killers soon.
Kim says
LMAO – You all are hilarious. I’m happy to know that you don’t think I’m a completely terrible wife for making fun of him.
But, really – it was important to find out that he could still do his chores. It would take at least 6 fingers lost to get out of that.
But, for the record – I did get up at 5 a.m. this morning to make him breakfast and pack his lunch. If you know me, you know I’m not a morning person. So, this was a sacrifice.
And, DANG – I should have slipped the pills into the waffles or smoothie – that’s a brilliant idea, Laura.
LZ says
Too funny…for as funny as an accident can be. =)
* * Ryan DO NOT READ below here * * *
Kim: Offer to make dinner for your injured husband. (Then hide the painkillers in his food.) 😉
Ashley says
Been reading silently for a while, but this post is SO me. I would have done the exact same thing.
Taryn says
Dang! ouch!! I hope his fingers heal quickly- and without complications. (my husband broke his long finger over a year ago and it still working on getting motion back! Fingers can be tough.) I love you apathy- I understand your sarcasm- we know you love him. = )
Katie says
Seriously hilarious! I was dying laughing when I saw the photo…ahhh, boys! And don’t worry – I am so much worse than you when Jeremy hurts himself…no sense of empathy here chickie 🙂 I am just wondering – how did he break three fingers? What the heck was he doing?! Hope he heals soon!
Emily says
I’m so glad that you made sure he’s still able to unload the dishwasher. Whew, that was close. Lol, you are hysterical. And of course, hopefully Ryan gets better soon.
Mrs. Dirnberger says
They try to act like the “Big Men” they are and not call their wifes and complain. But all in all they really want to call and cry to us! This is a funny story..kinda, I mean I feel sorry for him but it is funny!
Jen M says
“Appalled at my apathy”? More like amused at your humour! What a funny post. Hope Ryan’s fingers heal up soon!!