Last week was our wedding anniversary, and Ryan’s parents took Henry overnight so Ryan and I could go on a date.
We really don’t go out to eat – just the two of us – ever. Even when Henry is with his grandparents, we often end up working on projects or falling asleep on the couch at 8:30 p.m.
We are very exciting like that.
But, this time, we went out to eat. Which meant we sat across from each other at a table and talked. We talked so long that I think the restaurant staff were pegging us as squatters.
I’d like to say that we do this all the time. But we don’t. Even though we spend a lot of time together, we don’t often have each other’s undivided attention.
We talked about Christmas, and Henry, and our wedding, and mostly about our future home and the barn. And stuff.
I talked a big game about downsizing. But, in truth, there was a tiny part of me that was worried about moving my family into a 320-square-foot apartment.
Worried that I couldn’t be happy in such a small space.
But, you know what I’ve actually realized? I’ve realized that I’m actually SO MUCH HAPPIER now. It’s not that everything is sunshine and roses. It’s not that the barn MADE me happy.
But, this smaller space has already helped me realize just how much time I spent in the past taking care of our stuff.
Cleaning here or there. Putting stuff away that found itself on counters and on the floor and on tables. Finding homes for all the stuff. (We call that organizing, I think. But I’m realizing it was really stressful to try to find places to put everything we were acquiring.)
And most of all, just worrying about all the stuff. How would I arrange it? Where could I move it? Does it look right there? Why is it always in the way? Why is it already dusty?
I didn’t even realize all the time I wasted.
The time spent in the company of stuff was taking me away from other things that actually make me happy.
At the barn, I don’t worry about stuff. 90 percent of our stuff is in my parents’ barn. Honestly, I don’t even know why we could possibly need it ever again. I don’t even remember what most of it is at this point.
And since moving in, we’ve actually found ourselves packing more stuff away and getting it out of here. Stuff we thought we needed but actually don’t need at all.
So, we’ve been compiling a list of STUFF we thought we needed and actually don’t.
**A quick disclaimer: Our experience living in 320-square feet is unique – it’s short-term and also comes with many luxuries (like a great garage/barn for storage and wonderful outdoor space). Maybe this doesn’t make sense for you. I think that’s okay. I don’t believe this will work for everyone. I don’t believe that our way is the only way. I think you should do what works for you. But, if you are like us and feel overwhelmed by all the stuff, maybe some of these ideas will resonate with you, too. And maybe you’ll benefit – like we have – from letting go of the stuff.
Now that that’s out of the way … my list of things we thought we needed and really don’t need at all.
A dishwasher.
We used the dishwasher A LOT in our old house. And I would have told you that it was very convenient. And possibly even a necessity. (Many of you told me this when I shared our plan to go dishwasher-less.)
But I don’t miss the dishwasher. Not even a little bit. (At least not yet. But it’s been two months.)
We always rinsed our dishes before putting them in the dishwasher to keep away the stench. And then we had to run it. And then we had to unload it. And while we were avoiding unloading the dishwasher, the sink was piling up with dishes that needed to be in the dishwasher.
None of this was difficult, but it was just too many steps. And it seems to us that it’s a lot simpler to just do the dishes as we use them.
It means that our sink and countertops in the barn are usually cleared off. While I’m cooking, I rinse and wash dishes. When we finish eating, Ryan washes the plates and silverware. There are rarely dirty dishes around because we just make a habit of doing them and putting them away right away.
More than 6 of (almost) anything.
Because our dishwasher isn’t overloaded, we really don’t need much of anything. This goes for plates, bowls, silverware, cups … pretty much everything. (We actually have more than six bowls and plates right now, and it’s totally overkill. I’m planning to pack them away.)
There are only three of us. So, we’ve found that just having a few extras is more than enough. It also means that almost everything is being used regularly and not getting dusty. (And if someone does come over, we have extras enough for everyone.)
And the rule of six or less goes for lots of things outside the kitchen, too. We’ve found that we rarely need six of anything – ink pens, pairs of pants/jeans, towels, rolls of toilet paper, bottles of wine (kidding, not kidding).
(Note: I’m aware that because of the size of our space, we cannot entertain traditionally. I love to entertain. So, when we have a larger space, this “rule” will definitely shift for some things.)
Spare linens.
This is a close cousin of the rule of sixes. In past houses, we had a closet of spare linens – sheets, towels, blankets.
In the barn, we have found that we totally don’t need it. We packed everything up. I have found it easier to throw sheets in the washer and then just remake the bed when they are done. I wash the towels and then hang them back up.
The best part – I don’t have to worry about where to store the extras and how to organize it and make it look decent.
Small appliances.
I was a sucker for small appliances in the past – juicers and coffee makers and waffle makers and blenders and fryers and food processors … this was a small selection of them in the old house.
The truth is, sometimes they got used. But they spend far more time collecting dust. So, when we moved to the barn, I had three tiers of small appliances.
- First tier – used at least weekly (KitchenAid mixer, toaster, crock pot, bullet) – these appliances found a home in our kitchen.
- Second tier – used monthly (food processor, hand blender, waffle maker, etc.) – these appliances are stored in the barn in case we need them.
- Third tier – everything else or things that COULD be replaced by other items (juicer, coffee maker, electric tea kettle, fryer etc.) – these appliances were packed away or donated. Some will probably find a home when we move to the new house, and others are gone for good.
We haven’t needed anything in the second tier at all. And a few things that we considered “first-tier” ended up going into storage. For example, I used to use an electric tea kettle to heat water for tea. Now, I just microwave a mug of water. Just as simple and no extra stuff needed.
Clothes.
I thought that cutting back on clothing would be a challenge for me. But, believe it or not, it’s been so simple to let go of the need for closets of clothes. (See our limited storage for clothes here.)
I’ve found that I have a pretty simple style – I tend to spend most days in jeans/cardigans/casual tops. So, instead of keeping many of the clothes that I like but never wear, I stored them away. And I don’t miss them at all. I may just get rid of everything. (I’ve already consigned and donated a lot of my clothes.)
Over the holidays, my mom and I shopped for some new clothes for me. I got some great new cardigans and shirts. And it led me to go home and get rid of more clothes I don’t need.
The best part about having a limited selection of clothing is that I feel good in the clothes I have. It’s easy to get dressed everyday. And I don’t worry about organizing my closet.
The bottom line.
Two months in a tiny space has been so good for our family. It’s been really exciting to let go of all the stuff and embrace a new way of life.
But, I know that – if I’m being honest – living in such a small space is “easier” for me because it’s temporary. It comes with the promise of a new (modest) dream home for our family.
But when Ryan and I were talking, I confessed that I’m actually really scared about the space. What if we allow ourselves to slip back into the trap of MORE MORE MORE? What if we let the stuff stress us out again and take over our lives?
The answer – I don’t have an answer. But as we are planning our build, we’re trying to keep perspective about what we really “need.” And there are few THINGS that we truly need. Instead of focusing on the stuff – we’re trying to focus on the experiences and the dreams that our new home holds.
Are THINGS holding you back from happiness?
What THINGS do you think you could do without?
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Rae says
Two years ago my husband retired and we sold our 2200 sq ft home and moved into a 400 sq ft cabin. We immediately built a metal barn to use as storage and until August of last year, all my “treasures” were stored away. Like you, I realized there is so much I can do without. I learned to love washing dishes by hand, got used to showers and no baths, avoided any sales or bargains because I knew there was no space for them. Last year we transformed our barn into our house. Still small by some standards ( 1400 sq ft), I love the ease of stretching out in a king bed, taking bubble baths and rearranging firniture. The things I missed in storage were by books and art and keepsakes, but I’ve kept a lot of them in the attic because I’ve learned to live without them.
Congrats on your new home and lessons learned! May we all be as lucky and as blessed!
Pat G says
Just came across your post in Pinterest. (Not that I have a small house . . .) You said something in your blog post that had me thinking. . . I live alone and only use a handful of glasses/dishes/etc. so why do I have a dozen drinking glasses??? Also, the fact that you just wear a cardigan and a shirt most days: that is me since I discovered Lands End cardigans! It’s a “professional” look that is also practical for nonwork, and I think I could easily pare down my closet with that in mind! [even to get to the 30 piece limit — had that websit bookmarked, can’t find it now] Thanks for the new insights!
Kim Woodward says
Thanks so much for the comment! I still struggle with letting go of some of the stuff – and I feel the same way about the clothes. I really got rid of so many clothes and I know I could do more. I have the same “uniform” most days that works for me.
Katie @ Upcycled Treasures says
This was such a great post and I can relate on so many levels. We will be moving into an RV in about 7 months while we travel around in search of the perfect mountain town to settle down. I am so excited to live with less and am actually really enjoying the whole purging process- and am also looking forward to having less to clean, haha. At the same time, I think knowing that it will be temporary also makes it more exciting and a little less scary. I’m all up for the challenge though and look forward to reading more of your posts and any advice you have.
Jerilyn says
I like living small. We’re moving soon to one of two places. One place has really high rent so we’d have a small place and no wiggle room. The other town is really small so not much on the market. We’d buy through rural housing and most of the houses (with enough bedrooms) are closer to 2000 sq ft. It will be nice to not feel cramped but I am afraid of filling it up (the nearest goodwill is an hour away so harder to get rid of stuff!)
megan says
I enjoyed your post. We are swimming in a sea of stuff and I’ve been working each weekend to purge, frecycle and donate. I feel like we’ve done some that is noticeable, and then Christmas came(others not us) 🙂 I actually dedicated a shelf in the basement for toys for kid parties we have coming up. It was filled completely with toys people went overboard with. 🙂
Kim Woodward says
The toys! It’s overwhelming! And holidays and birthdays definitely add a lot to the list. I wish I could blame this all on others, but I’m to blame, too. It’s easy to spend money on things I know Henry will love. Good luck in your purging process!
Coral says
That is me! I am taking clothes, toys, and assorted other items to thrift shops on a monthly basis, but I feel like my MIL is going behind me, weighing the bag, and replacing those items with more toys! She grew up pretty poor, and now that she has the means to spoil grandkids, she sees it as her duty to purchase everything they like from dollar store junk toys to ipods! It’s insane. I’ve tried talking to her several time, and each time it improves for a while, then goes downhill again. I want to foster a mentality of stewardship not ownership in our home, but it is hard to do with somebody doing the opposite.
Kim Woodward says
This can be really tough, Coral. I tend to take an opposite view of this for grandparents and let them do the spoiling that they’ve “earned” by raising their kids. I try very hard to let them do their thing – both of our parents love to give Henry gifts and things. But, over time, both of our folks have also done a great job of talking to us about what we actually need and what Henry will love and want. This helps a lot.
It sounds like you’ve already talked to your MIL about this and it hasn’t helped. With that said, I think that my gut would be to let her do her thing and try really hard to let it go. I guess I just think that it’s not a battle that’s worth fighting (unless you really want to fight constantly with your MIL, which I don’t). And I truly believe that most grandparents do this with the best intentions. Plus, I think that the idea of letting go of stuff also translates to letting go of resentments. It’s just not worth the stress and worry to you. And I personally don’t believe that spoiling grandkids will counteract the good you are doing to teach your children to be good stewards.
This is just my 30 cents, take it or leave it. And good luck!
Marty says
Wow, great article! Would that I could be that organized and so full of useful ideas. Very inspiring.. thanks. 🙂
Kelly says
I couldn’t agree more – we downsized a 2,000 square foot house (4 beds, 3 baths) into an 800 square feet city apartment (2 beds, one “barely bath”). We eliminated so much extra from our lives, and haven’t felt like we are missing out on a single thing! There’s so much less to clean, and it forced us to evaluate what things we actually use, and what things we were just hanging onto because we had the space to do so.
Kim Woodward says
This is so great to hear! It’s amazing how little we actually need.
Sophie Castellanos says
Kim,
This is a really great post. I have always l have always lived in the city but had a small home personality. If the house is too big there is just m ore to clean, and that goes for everything. i totally agree and feel the same about the linens, kitchen appliances, and the dishwasher-we really dislike unload it.
Do you have a TV? I stopped watching cable almost four years ago, and it has been such a great thing for our family. Especially for my daughter. That itself helps keep things out of our home because we aren’t “brainwashed” by all the commercials.
Kudos to your family! I am happy for you! Losing “things” really help people see whats important, loving your family and friends. I hope you the best on your beautiful journey.
Sophie
Kim Woodward says
Thank you so much for your sweet comment.
We do have tv, but you make such a great point. I never really thought about it leading to bringing things into our home – especially as my little guy gets older. IT’s amazing how he’s already fascinated by certain characters.
Lisa H. says
Great post, as always! I am so happy that the barn is working out so well, and I look forward to following along as this journey continues!
No matter how often I purge, I always find something I can get rid of in some part of the house. My husband tells me I just like to get rid of stuff, and to some extent he’s right. However, I have two weaknesses: books and useful containers. I actually have a box of large baby food jars that I can’t bring myself to just recycle, and my son is nearly six !
Kim Woodward says
I am not actually what I would consider a hoarder, but I think we all have a little bit of it in us. It’s hard to part with things you may need someday.
Lisa H. says
So true! I see it in my son sometimes, so I am trying to help him build good habits. It’s tempting to just get rid of stuff when he is not around, but I find (for the most part) it’s better to include him in the process. Right now, we’re focusing on purging his unused toys, and he’s taking it like a champ!
Thanks for continuing your awesome content. It always makes me smile. 🙂
Amber @ Wills Casa says
Such great advice and as always an interesting perspective on things now that you are actually living in the barn. Have you heard about capsule wardrobes? It’s all about pairing down your clothing to 30 or some other specified number and only wearing those pieces for a season. It really helps you buy smarter when you have to get new stuff.
I think my biggest problem would be storing all Nick’s kitchen stuff. He uses the blender, the food processor, the coffee grinder (several times a day on that one) all. the. time. Maybe the next house for us should be 50% kitchen and 500 square feet. I would love to try that.
Kim Woodward says
I love the idea of the capsule wardrobe and have been contemplating really going down to only that. I probably only wear 30 items anyhow. Have you tried it?
I have no problem with small appliances if they are used. But nearly all of mine gather dust.
cassie says
you are so inspiring! i am in major purge mode- i don’t need all this stuff either and i don’t need to take care of it all.
Kim Woodward says
Thanks, Cassie! Best of luck with your purging! It looks like you are making great progress!
Kathy says
I’ve just found your blog last week and have been interested in seeing how you did up your barn. It’s an awesome space and you have done well with it all. Like you say you have the big area underneath in the garage which helps with storage etc. I always get inspired when reading things like this to get rid of stuff and while I do it’s probably only 10 percent of what I really need to do. It’s a process and I’m working in it. I think you have worked out that going back to your old life is not what you want so maybe somewhere in between the middle. Have a read of “The Assortment Blog” and you will find great tips there. They built a small cabin and they have 3 teenage boys and a dog and they think their life is so much better living small. She is getting the plans ready for the cabin to sell because people have been wanting to build a similar cabin. It is bigger than your space in the barn but not a full house size. I read her while blog from start to finish and again all it does is inspire you to live with less and that’s a good thing. Glad you had a fun date night conversation. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia
Kim Woodward says
Thanks so much for the comment. I actually came across the Assortment Blog through her article in Country Living – such a gorgeous home and so inspirational!
Getting rid of stuff is a process – one step, one day, and one thing at a time. Good luck!
Kenz @ Interiors By Kenz says
This list made me think a lot. I experienced a lot of these same feelings while we were living in the basement over the summer. I learned to live without a lot. And now we have boxes sitting in rooms… still un opened. I’m tempted to just throw the boxes away without going through them. Obviously if we haven’t needed them since April, we probably don’t *really* need them. Living with less is a good thing.
Kim Woodward says
I know what you mean! I think we’d be better off to just get rid of the stuff that’s not furniture in my parents’ garage without even considering it. It’s too easy to think you need something that you really don’t.
Jennifer@The Chronicles of Home says
I often think I’d be happier in a smaller space with less stuff. As long as that space were ridiculously well laid out with every inch useful. So I could do it if I had a rock star architect 🙂 We’ve been in our big new house for a year now and I do love it but I’m often aware of how much of the space goes unused on a daily basis!
Kim Woodward says
It’s interesting how it’s nearly impossible to find good, small house plans. Like, practical small houses that you could really live with. When we were designing our house plan, it was just so easy to go bigger and bigger. Small little changes. It’s a lot like stuff, actually. It’s pretty easy to let the stuff get out of control – for me, anyhow.
Jennifer@The Chronicles of Home says
Oh, totally. Our last house’s square footage could have worked fine but there was so much wasted space, which made some of the rooms where we really needed more space smaller than what we felt like we needed. And where I live houses on the smaller side are either new construction with no personality or some itty ranch with 6 foot ceilings that kind of needs to be torn down anyway, and usually is by a builder who erects a 2M mansion in its place. Where are all the charming cottages??
Julia@Cuckoo4Design says
I get so upset and annoyed sometimes about taking care of all of our stuff. I can so relate!
Kim Woodward says
I think it’s so part of our daily lives that we barely realize it. But it seems like a lot of people relate.
Carrie says
We bought a house 1.5 years ago that was almost 3 times the size of our old house. I had been waiting for 8 years to buy a bigger house. And all we have done over the last 1.5 years is add more stuff, spend more time & money maintaining, organizing, cleaning all that stuff and all that extra space. It’s been a difficult process to accept the fact that we made a mistake. We are starting to pare back down, do a few updates to the house & get ready to sell it. Kudos to you for not learning the hard way! PS – How are the pugs adjusting?
Kim Woodward says
Ugh, I’m so sorry you are having to go through that. But I guess lessons learned are always for the best. Best of luck with selling your home. I really have Ryan to thank for all of this. He’s so practical and has really helped me see what matters – and it’s not the size of our house or the amount of stuff we own.
Katie Newcomb says
Great post! I love your perspective since you’re in the barn. We’re trying to have less stuff, too. We have gotten out of control. Our garage and guest room were just filled with… STUFF. I just cleaned out my closet and we’ve done the garage. Now I’m moving on to my decorating crap. Thank you for the inspiration!
Kim Woodward says
Good luck with your organizing and purging! It’s so much work – but totally worth it!
Rachel says
Awesome thoughts, Kim. I was also shocked at how little I missed a dishwasher when we didn’t have one for the first 6 months or so after buying our house–I thought it would be a HUGE annoyance, but it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Sure, it’s nice to have one again now, and I wouldn’t want to be without a dishwasher forever, but it wasn’t bad at all to live without one. Shortly before we left Iowa, our microwave died, and since we knew we’d be moving pretty soon, we just figured we’d wait to get a new one until after we got to Utah. So that was another major appliance we did without for quite a few months, and again, I was kind of surprised by how easy it was to function without it. It even helped in a lot of ways–I had to plan dinners ahead of time so I could make sure I had meat thawed well in advance, so I learned to menu plan and think about meals more than 30 minutes in advance, and we ate a lot better. I wouldn’t want to be without a microwave forever and ever, but it was sort of helpful not to have one, just to force me to get better at planning ahead and eating a little healthier.
Kim Woodward says
Really interesting about the microwave. We didn’t have one for about a month and it didn’t bother me int he least. But my husband was DYING over the whole thing. It was sort of hilarious, actually, He’s normally such a minimalist about most things – but that microwave was a MUST.
Gretchen says
Great post! I think I’d be a lot more equivocal about our dishwasher if my kids weren’t big enough to empty it for us every morning ;). and, you know, if we didn’t have so many people here using so many dishes. But small appliances….yeah….they sound so fun when they’re sitting there in their boxes at the store, don’t they? I’m feeling a desperate need to get our toaster oven off my counter, but Dave and the kids love having it.
Kim Woodward says
Yeah, I need kids to unload our dishwasher. 😉
But seriously, I thought I’d miss it so much more than I do.
Kristi says
What a great, honest post, Kim. I have had many of these thoughts. Unfortunately, for us stuff people, it is hard to let go without having to. I think your time of living small will be a great lifelong lesson for you. I know I have stress in my life over stuff and organizing stuff and maybe someday I will be able to conquer it. Until then, my basement will be fooling up.
Kim Woodward says
Ugh – those basements. Our basement at our last house was RIDICULOUS. It was “organized,” but it was also out of control. How do three people ever need that much stuff?
Kayla AKA Kilo Bravo says
This post really resonated with me. Since we’ve moved into a muuuch bigger home from our Brooklyn apartment we have actually been very conscious about continuing to purge. We didn’t get rid of a lot of stuff before the move for a variety of reasons (um 6 week old baby?), and one of them being, I wasn’t sure if/how I would use it in the new space, so I wanted to hold onto it a bit longer. I actually think that now that we have more space, we have more out on display or in more accessible storage and it’s easier to figure out what we really continue to need. where before stuff was so packed away I didn’t even know what I had. And as a result, now that we can really see ALL THE THINGS its easier to get rid of stuff and live in a sparsely decorated home. It’s ok if my home is perfectly cluttered and styled like a magazine. I always held on to things before just in case it was going to look great in my “Someday Home”. Well now we are in it and junk is making the cut! I think you’ll be able to hold onto this feeling of lightness in the new home now that you’ve gotten a taste of it.
Kim Woodward says
That’s a really good point! I hope I’m able to separate myself from the stuff when we get a bigger place.
Sarah says
I love hearing your thoughts on this. I have been in the mood to clear out a lot of extras lately. I really want to pare down sheets because one set is really enough and there’s no folding and storage!I get really stressed out about finding places to store everything to so most of the time rooms are a mess! I was really surprised by the dishwasher revelation though…I am not disciplined enough to wash after every use but I’m also not disciplined enough to load and unload…
Kim Woodward says
The sheets thing seems so silly, but the linen closet used to drive me insane.
Cindy@TheFlippingCouple says
I love your perspective. We’ve been purging like crazy recently, but we still have SO MUCH STUFF. I’ve been trying to let go of the expectations of what normal people have. For example, a toaster. We don’t eat toast. Ever. So we got rid of our toaster. When we gutted the kitchen we packed up a ton of extra kitchen stuff, and 2.5 years later we finally got rid of it all. I’m trying to clear things out now instead of waiting 2.5 years next time.
I also dream about downsizing sometimes, because it sounds simple. I’m trying to figure out how to downsize my mentality, even if we’re still in 1400 square feet.
Kim Woodward says
That’s hilarious about the toaster. That’s sort of us with the coffee maker. Neither of us make it at home, so why bother keeping it?
Emily @ imperfect says
Such a great post, Kim! Agreed – as you live with less, you realize you didn’t need it to begin with. Ahem, waffle maker, I’m looking at you. I need to purge the small appliances…and so much baby crap… thanks for the inspiration.
Kim Woodward says
The problem with small appliances is that we always use them – for a short period. And then they sit, sadly gathering dust. It’s a sad existence.
I actually asked for a mini pie maker one year for Christmas and didn’t even use it once. Ridiculous.
Mrs Limestone says
I’m totally with you on the less is more although I think a lot of the stuff I have that I wish I could get rid of has to do with entertaining at my house. I love having people over but I dont love needing extra linens, plates,etc.. So its a balance.
But I’m 100% with you on the small appliances. I’m shocked at how many are out there. Who needs all that?
My real weakness is crafting supplies. I hoard them like a crazy person. I need help.
Kim Woodward says
I totally know what you mean about entertaining stuff. I love to entertain and we have boxes of platters and serving ware in storage. But even with the amount of stuff we had, I only used a fraction of it – even when we entertained a lot.
And craft supplies are totally a problem for me, too – I did get rid of some of it, but some of it I kept because I didn’t want to have to buy it when I needed it again. But since it’s all in storage, I’m sure I will not use it for a year while we build. And then I question whether I really need to keep it.
Mary says
I totally agree with Less is More. I have three small appliances, a mixer, crock pot and waffle maker. I have one set of dishes, one set of silverware and one set of all purpose drinking glasses. We are not into TV so we don’t have cable, but we do enjoy the radio and the internet. Two sets of sheets for each bed and enough towels to get us from laundry day to laundry day. With all that extra stuff I feel it is harder to clean and maintain a nest pantry and closets. I’m all for being a minimalist.