So, obviously we have been moved into our hew home for a few weeks. But, the page was truly turned in this new chapter of our lives yesterday. We closed on our first home.
It belongs to someone else now.
Early this week, we cleaned the house from top to bottom. Even the fridge (which I’m embarrassed to admit looked like a murder scene). Ryan mowed and trimmed. We patched and painted holes. The nail and screw holes that we carefully added throughout the home to perch our shelves and frames and mementos. Gone.
It’s empty now.
And honestly, it didn’t really feel like home when we finished. Just a house. (A really beautiful, awesome house. But, a house, nonetheless.)
95 percent of me is relieved. It was starting to be a little overwhelming to care for two houses – three, if you count the rental house.
And part of me is proud. Proud that we did what we did. Taking a house that looked like this.
A house no one could understand why we purchased.
A house had been unloved and treated poorly… That even smelled….
And made it into a beautiful, warm and happy home.
A home that we truly loved.
A home that served us well – better than well – for four years.
We learned about ourselves and each other in this place.
It was the backdrop to many happy memories.
But, if I’m being honest, a tiny part of me is also a bit sad. I’m really going to miss coming around the corner every day and seeing that green house and feeling a swell of pride. I’m going to miss our wonderful neighbors, the large back deck, the rain garden, the little details inside…
But, it’s a house. And like this little frame in our new kitchen reminds me, a home is actually about who I share it with.